God is Faithful

So, remember when I told you like...yesterday that God is faithful and He provides opportunities in our lives and He is AWESOME!?! Well, God never ceases to amaze me. And when I say this, I'm not meaning it like just as the regulatory response but really just leaves me in awe at how amazing He really is. Like, just when I think or when I want to be a light for Him and act more like Christ, He challenges me in the most wonderful way. One of my girls that I mentor through our school came to me and talked to me after class and she was sharing with me and just talking about what she has gone through and her struggles. And I got to share the love and the forgiveness of Christ with her. She ended up accepting Jesus into her heart today. God is SO good! Just when I think that I am not sufficient, I am weak. But He is strong. And he makes me stronger and He has my back.

I haven't shared this yet on this blog but I have been feeling a call to missions for a while to go somewhere international. I was waiting on God to tell me when and where. When the opportunity for Spain with my college group presented itself I was like, okay God. I'm guessing that this is it. I still wasn't too sure. But as time has passed on, with being in the Word and really praying and meditating over it, I believe that Spain is it. I couldn't be more excited! And even though my thoughts and insecurities weren't openly expressed, they were still there. In my subconscious and in the back of my mind, I was like but God, I just submitted and gave my life to You a little over a year ago. Who am I to think that I can lead people to Christ when I feel so immature and green in my faith. But God has been faithful and I know now that those insecurities come straight from the devil trying to convince me that I was inadequate and playing on my weakness that I'm not enough.

But as I said before, the Lord always finds a way to reassure His children. And I definitely felt that today after I had the chance to lead my now sister in Christ, Claudia, to a relationship with Jesus Christ. It was just as much I believe an eye opening experience for me as it was for her. I definitely think and believe that God utilized being a mentor and my obedience and willingness to bring someone to Himself. And it's really interesting because I was just telling God that I needed signs for what I am supposed to do. I need a sign for Spain. That was the main thing. And I think that God definitely delivered on that request. He took my insecurities and showed me in a real way that with Him, anything is possible. That if I just trust in Him, He can do anything He wants to through me.

He is teaching me new things everyday. And this was one of the best lessons He could teach me. Because now, I have a new sister in Christ! Her name is now written in the Lambs Book of Life. And the fact that God can use me to do that, I was and still am thrilled. God continues to be good. He shows me everyday even the things I know, He shows me in real ways that He is sufficient. He is really all we need. It is so comforting that the Creator of the Universe is on my side. He always has my back. I know especially now not to doubt myself. Because with God by my side, I can do anything. Literally, anything. Until next time :)

Too Blessed, Too Stressed

Well ladies and gentleman, it is getting about that time...the end of the semester I mean. The time when everyone is just a little more stressed than usual. You're winding down to the home stretch. Did you know we have a little under a month before Thanksgiving Break? Yes. That means a whole lot to cram into a month before exams start. Sounds fun doesn't it? Maybe a little crazy even? That's the life of a college student. My life. And you know what the crazy thing is that I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love college. I love even the challenges and the constant reminders that He is in control. Everything is up to the Creator of the universe. Kind of nice isn't it? I think so. But see the thing is that the human in me still seems to still get stressed. No matter how much I try and no matter how much I see God's provision and hand in everything I do. Like for example, I had 2 tests today one right after the other. And I was supposed to have a Biology test tomorrow. But like I said, the Lord provides and the biology test was moved to Monday. But yet I still spent like most of the week up until Wednesday worrying about it. It just shows how He is faithful and that when I am weak, He is strong. And I have to continually remind myself of that because I definitely forget even though I try not to. I remember that I still mess up and I still fall. But the great news is that I know He's there to catch me. My stress and my worries are nothing for my God. I know that I should remember before I get too stressed that He is and always will be in control. I will be too blessed to be stressed. That is my goal. I may need some reminding very soon with everything piling up. You can be my witness and try to help keep me in check. Stay tuned for next time for who knows what stories there will be in this crazy college girl world! So until next time :)

What Do I Know?

There is a video that is supposed to be posted above. If it's not, I apologize. This song has been stuck in my head for the past couple of weeks. I just can't seem to shake it. It's not a bad thing because it's a fantastic song. I think that this song was put in my head because a lot of the times, God becomes so comfortable to us. He becomes natural. At least for me, He becomes almost too natural. Too comfortable that we do not realize the full impact of who He really is. Now don't get me wrong, there needs to be that strong relationship between us and Christ. But I think it gets to the point to where we forget or don't realize ALL of who Christ is. What do we really know of Holy? I know our culture and world has a definition of holy. But what does it really mean? What all does holiness entail? Christ is so multifaceted and so complex that even beginning to understand holiness and all of who He is can seem overwhelming. Overwhelmingly wonderful. God is the only One who is truly holy. So in my mind, we have no worldly comparison to the true Holy One. So my question again is..... what do we really know about holiness?? Can our minds even begin to comprehend what that really is? On this earth, can we really understand?

What really blows my mind is that the Lord makes Himself so available to us. He offers Himself to us fully; He is like a never ending book and we just have to open it and dig down deep inside. And what is so cool about that is that every time we think we have things figured out, there's another twist to the story. He is all things. And what's also really complex and cool? God has always been the same. He's always been the same person. He's the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He's always been this complex and overwhelmingly fantastic. He has always been Holy. He has always been well.....everything. It's really cool to think about.

And the coolest part of it all is that this amazingly fantastic person was willing to give their life. For us. And a cool bonus is that HE wants to get to know US. The Savior of the Universe wants to get to know us. Wow! Just. Wow. He wants us to know Him and He to know us. He doesn't want to just sit back and say, "Okay,I've done my part. Now you should know how awesome I am". Sure, He wants us to let others know of His glory and His grace. But He wants You to know Him in a totally personal and know how you take your coffee kind of way. I know that's probably not the best example but I just can't get over the magnificence of this. And He wants you to know Him.

So the thing is, do you think we would really know Jesus and His holiness if it were right in front of our faces? I would like to think so. But I don't really know. It was just something I was thinking. I hope that looking through and reading the Bible and through prayer that I would be able to know Him better and at the least catch glimpses of who He is and what holiness really is and what it means. I can only hope that He would reveal to me in time what it means.:)

Oh Management of Time

So... lately, I've been finding myself supremely busy. Like I have had a meeting or something like that every day just this week. I talked to my freshman about time management. I think the truth is that I needed what God was saying to me just as much as they might have. That hits me with a big realization... Am I spending too much time on other things and busying myself and taking time away from God? Taking time away that I can be at peace and spending time with Him and employ His saving grace and give back to Him? I know that doing these ministries here at school are great and I am enjoying the time to put into them. But lately these days what I seem to be giving the Lord is not enough. Like God is saying to me "Hey, you. Yeah you. I'm over here too." It just seems like the reading at night and prayer that I'm doing just isn't sufficing. I'm feeling a little restless and a little disjointed. I don't really know how to describe it. It's just this weird feeling that I'm getting. And I don't like it. Not at all. I know that I make mistakes. It's all because I live in the flesh. The only person that is perfect is the Lord Jesus Christ. But knowing that I can never be even close to perfect just seems to burden me even more. We are called to be like Christ. And I feel like I fall so short sometimes that I am the worst representation of what Christ is like. It burdens me that so many people are dying and will never know the love, the mercy, or the compassion of Jesus Christ that only He can give. My heart breaks at all of these things. He gave everything for me. He gave His sinless life for me and I feel like I only give Him the minimum sometimes. I cannot even fathom the love that Jesus Christ had for us that He would do something totally selfless for me who is more selfish than selfless. I know they say that you are your harshest critic but I fully believe that Jesus burdens us for things that we would look over, forget or miss. I think that I have definitely been missing out on time with Him. And I am going to vow myself to spend more time in the Word and more time in prayer because I don't want to give God just the minimum. I don't want to get so complacent with the way that my life is. I don't ever want to think that I'm good because Jesus saved me. That I'm good because I have put my faith and trust in Him. Because I'm not good. There is nothing good in me. It's all Jesus Christ working in and through me.

Packin' Up

Which is way better than backin' up. like that lady on the auto tuned version of the newscast on You Tube. It's a very funny video. If you haven't seen it already, then you definitely should. It is hilarious!

But anyway, I am packing up some of my clothes and things because I am going to GA for a whole week to see my aunt. I have been going to see her every year I believe since I was only 10. We always have fun. And this time, my mom will be going for a couple of days. We'll be able to do all kinds of stuff and I am pretty excited.

So, it is light outside now. I can't believe I have stayed up the whole night. I haven't pulled an all nighter in a long time. Certainly not one this summer. I think the last time I pulled an all nighter was my second semester in college during exam times. Oh, freshman year! haha

I do have some new news that I find exciting. I actually have some nails to speak of!! For the longest time (like since I can remember) I have always bitten my nails. I believe it has turned into a nervous habit unfortunately. I love having even just the little bit of nails that I have. I just have to keep it up not biting my nails. It seems that I grow them out for a while but I always end up biting them off. Not this time. Not this time. I will prevail!
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But anyways, I do not want to admit this but I guess I will. I kind of want to see the Red Riding Hood movie. I am a little ashamed I guess because it sounds like a new spin of that Twilight movie. Which I did not like. I know a lot of people like all of that Twilight business. And that's okay. But it's not my style. But this is supposed to be Little Red Riding Hood. And now because of all of the Twihype, it is turning this story to sound like Twilight. Which when I think about it, since most people like Twilight I guess it would make sense. But still, I mean, really?!? First the teens fiction section and now movies that are supposed to be stories from my childhood? I think it has gone too far. And if it hasn't, then it will soon. Oh well, I will get off my rant for now.

By the way, sorry for getting all deep on you guys on the last post. But I have decided that I am going to take control and I will beat this. No matter what, no giving up. well, I guess that's all for now. Until next time...

This is Real, This is Me

So, lucky for you, I just happen to be in the soul bearing mood. haha. But anyways, serious time.

I have always struggled with my weight. It is something that has always followed me like an unwanted visitor. It has really gotten to me in the past. Well, when I went to college, I just started to make better decisions. I only drank water. But that was probably because it was so hot outside that drinking anything else was out of the question. But anyways, I started eating a lot more vegetables and being in college, I walked everywhere. Pretty soon, I started to just lose weight. It was a great feeling. And I loved it.

I started to gain more self confidence. I didn't look at myself as what I was but more of what I was becoming to be. And it felt great!! I loved the new me. But.... (there's always a but isn't there. haha) but, I somehow lost sight of things. I just made poor decisions in my eating choices. You know, sometimes, it's easier to not make as good decisions as far as eating wise. And it's always the excuses. I had a paper due and I was stressed. Or I couldn't fit the gym in to my schedule this week because I had this or that to do.

Being at home for the summer hasn't helped things much either. Not that it's my parents fault. Nope, I am taking full responsibility because that's where it should be. My poor choices didn't necessarily stop. You know, weight loss is just like a battle for anything else. It is a day by day kind of thing. I didn't sit back and realize the consequences that a string of little bad decisions would cost me.

Before I knew it, I gained some weight back. Not all of it thank goodness. And I won't. I know that it is not healthy and I will not allow myself to go back to that. Ever. I know that by just making good decisions, can lead to more good decisions and better health if I want it. And I do. More than I probably know. To tell you the truth, I sometimes feel like a thin girl trapped in a bigger body. But I can't let myself get discouraged. I won't.

I think the biggest realization that I needed to get healthy was when my brother was diagnosed with Diabetes. I believe it is one of the reasons that I need to get healthy. I know what you're thinking. Just because he has Diabetes doesn't mean you will get it. And I know that. But see, the other thing is, Diabetes is genetic. My dad was diagnosed with it when I was a kid. My grandma on my dad's side has it and my papa has it. Therefore, my concern is therefore heightened.

And I want you to know that by writing this, I am not expecting pity, sympathy, or anything else. I really have no idea why I am telling all this. And on the internet. I guess I just felt like I needed an outlet and this is what I came up with. So, here it is.

Okay, so enough of the sad stuff. I am an eternal optimist most times. Sometimes, there is a dash of reality thrown in there. But for the most part, I like to stay optimistic. I know I can beat this. I will be thin eventually. I just have to dig down deep and find that motivation, remember that each decision I make is important, and never give up hope. And most importantly, I know that I cannot do this on my own. I am definitely going to need God's help with this one. It's more than likely that I have failed all of the other times because I did not seek His help. I will beat this.

So, if you are reading this and you are in the same place as me, just know that you are beautiful no matter what you weigh. Society tries to tell us that we aren't beautiful unless we fit into their size 4 cookie cutter model mold. But I refuse to believe that. We may have some not so good days, but do not give up hope! You are fearfully and wonderfully made by the Creator. And you know what? He loves you just the way you are!! Even when you don't love yourself. And if you ever need any encouragement or someone to be there for you, I am here. Even if I don't know you personally. I hope that this will touch someone. Even if it doesn't, that's okay. But I really hope that it does. Until next time...

Animation Sensation

I love animated "kids" movies. They are some of the only good movies left out there worth watching. Now before you shut me and my opinion out or are quick to come to the defense, I did say some. I feel like for a Christian who is trying hard to be better and not to watch "bad" movies, animated kids movies are a safe haven. Plus, they cater to the kid in my heart. I think that I am in some ways I am definitely a kid at heart. I still eat PB&J (probably more now than I did then), I LOVE to color, I love animated/cartoon movies, and I still love the Disney Channel.

Which brings me to what I was going to write about. I had a movie night with the parents tonight to see Cars 2. It was great! Course, I did mention that I love kids movies. It was funny, it was serious, and it was filled with action and even a little bit of romance. All in all, it was a good movie.



Anyways, good times. Also, I made dinner tonight. I made homemade pizza! (Picture is above :]) Sure, it had pre-made crust/dough and pre-made sauce. But, it was semi-homemade and pretty good if I do say so myself. I don't know how I am going to like going back to school with no oven. I have gotten sort of attached (I know it sounds crazy) to my oven here at home. I love to bake so that's a plus. And it has given me a chance to expand on my cooking skills. Oh, and how could I forget the stove?! I love the stove as well. I like using creativity in different ways. It makes me feel well...creative. haha.

Anyways, well, I guess that is enough for now. Until next time...

Musical Madness!

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!! This is the excited reaction that I faced when I found out that the Community Theater was putting on none other than the production Hairspray!! This musical is near and dear to my heart. Now before you go off and say that's just crazy, let me explain. My sophomore year of high school(long time, I know)planned a trip to New York. We went to see 2 Broadway plays. Hairspray was the first and Lion King was the second. When I saw Hairspray, I just plain fell in love. In love with the music, the dances, the plot, the characters, and well, the play itself! Being my first Broadway musical, I was in love. I loved every minute of it. Shortly after, the movie was released. Though the movie was good, it just couldn't top Broadway. And now I have the chance to see it live again!! Sure it may not be Broadway, but it is a stage nonetheless. And the stage, in my opinion is usually better than the TV. To say the least, I am super excited.

Okay, confession time. I am missing my friends something awful right now. Like for real. It is so easy to see them when we're at school but when we're not, it's more difficult than the dickens to get us together because we all live so far apart; and it makes me sad. I miss the dance parties, Sonic Happy Hour, random fits of laughter about nothingness. I miss it all dearly. Especially my roommate. She's a camp counselor and doesn't have phone or internet access for pretty much most of the time that she is there. I am so happy that she is doing camp though. She's in her element there and she absolutely loves it. I just miss her. And my suitemate Katie.

Summer seems to be going by at a weird pace. At one end, it is going by way too fast for my liking. At another rate, it is going by all too slow at the same time. I am happy for the summer and all, but I am ecstatic about what the new school year will bring. Reading seems to be occupying my time these days. Not that I'm complaining though. I never get to read for pleasure when I'm at school. So the reading thing doesn't bother me. It's nice :)

I had a job interview on Monday. It was a group interview. Though I don't believe I will get the job because I will be gone in a little over a month. So much for that. But, I will press on and deal with it. It will give me more time with my family and it will give me a chance to help my mom. And also focus on other things. Well, I guess that's about all for now. Until next time...

Sweet Dreams? Maybe not....

Well, you caught me. It's after 5:00 in the morning and a lot of why's are going through my mind at the moment. Like, why am I still awake? or Why did I choose to blog now? or how about why am I still worried about a job interview that's not for another 2 days? The same job interview that I decided that was in God's hands and what happens will be for the best and in His plan? Well see, I believe that's just it. God made me somewhat of a worrier. I said somewhat so I'm not a full fledged worrier but I do get concerned about things from time to time. Even though this is the case, I do not believe that it has anything to do with this uncharacteristic bout of insomnia. It might have been the caffeine now that I remember... But anyways, some things that have gone on lately, we no longer have our house in Greenwood anymore. Going there now I believe will still be painful because we no longer live there. I love that place so much. And though it is hard to let go, I know that this is just a part of the growing up process. Unwanted change is never easy at first though, is it?



You see the person to the left of me in the picture above? She is the most amazing woman and I am so blessed to call her my Mom. She is a wonderful woman of God and I consider her a fantastic mom, friend, and spiritual guide. She is so awesome. She had a birthday yesterday. Even though she thinks sees herself as getting old, I think that she's just getting better. I cannot tell her enough or express my gratitude and love. She has done so much for me and I am beyond words. Which if you know me is a pretty big feat.

Father's Day is coming up super soon and I am not afraid to admit, I am a daddy's girl. I love my dad. He has always been there for me whenever I needed him just like my mom. He used to take me to dance, help me with my math homework, and teaches me everyday. It is because of his constant voice teaching throughout my upbringing that I LOVE to sing. I see more of my parents in myself the older I get. And to tell you the truth, I don't mind it. I love my parents. They are great godly people and so much in love. I only hope to have the same relationship with my spouse as they have. But, being daddy's little girl (and the youngest) my dad declared I couldn't date until I was 40. We'll see how that goes. With those kinds of restrictions, I don't think I'd ever get married. Which he said is the whole point. He said something the other day that was sweet. He said, "I don't think I will ever think any man is good enough to want to let my baby girl go. Because you're special." I am so blessed to have such an amazing family.

Speaking of the fam, we're getting together tonight in about 12 hours actually, to celebrate father's day for my mom's dad. I love my grandparents and my extended family so it will be nice to see them. And I do miss Greenwood. Even with all its changing, it will still always be my Greenwood, where I "grew up". It's where my roots are. It's so weird though. It felt like I would never get out of high school. Here I am halfway through college now... WOW! What a wake up call! Lots of my friends that are my age are getting married, having babies, etc. already! It's crazy!! But even so, I find myself more focused than ever on my grades, my degree, and my career. I don't know if it's entirely a good thing. There needs to be time to "stop and smell the roses" don't you think? But with my "checklist" over my head with what are so many more things I feel the need to accomplish, I find it hard to make room for anything else. Maybe it will happen for me one day. Dad seems to think it will happen this year. I can only laugh at the thought. He is biased, you know. As I mentioned before I am his one and only little girl.

I have so many ideas, so many goals, and so many things I want to accomplish. Though I don't know what many of them are yet, I know that they are deep down inside just waiting for their chance to shine and take center stage. And for those days, I cannot wait. So, if you're reading this you're probably thinking "Isn't it about time that girl shut up?!" or "Man that girl can talk!" Which is true, I can. Especially when it is almost 6:00 in the morning and no sleep. I hope some of this rambling made any sense. I would ask that you would pray for my interview on Monday. I really want this job! I ask that you would pray for God's will and plan to be executed and seen throughout the entire process whether I get the job or not. I appreciate you making it this far and I know the journey through may have been tiring. I am blessed beyond measure and may God bless you!

Until next time...

They Say Home is Where the Heart Is

Well guys, I have a question for you. Who is happy about going home? This girl! Turns out having a big girl job and living on my own isn't what I thought it would be. But, I am moving back home now and will be looking for a new job. On the up side, I will definitely get more time with my family; which is what I wanted. For now, I think that spending a more relaxing and less stress inducing is just what the doctor ordered.

Well, that's all I have for now. Until next time...

Sweet Summertime

Well, it has literally been FOREVER since I have blogged. Like since last year when I was back at school. Every time I wanted to write, I either couldn't find the words to say, or I felt a sense of guilt for trying to procrastinate when I knew I had serious work to do. So, let me catch you up.

When I got back to school, I first joined this really awesome club called Campus Ambassadors and I love them dearly. I have gotten to meet some really fantastic people through CA's by keeping girls and taking tours with people. I cannot wait until this next year to see them all at school!

Then, I did what most college students do in the course of obtaining their degree. I changed my major. Not too much though. I was Business Administration and I changed to Marketing. And I love it!! I got to experience the 2 hardest classes of my entire college career but they were fun for the most part. haha. And I have found the best roommate ever and I love her to death! I have joined in two business clubs called the Student Marketing Association(SMA)and Future Business Leaders of America/Phi Beta Lambda(FBLA/PBL). They are great clubs that I am fortunate to be a part of

Also, I have found a place to work for the summer called Level One Marketing. I am very excited to get some hands on experience into the business world and to meet new people and really get to know them. Plus, my new friend Bonny will be working with me as well. Another thing that I am excited about is my workstudy next semester. I will get to do hands on Advertising and Marketing experience stuff that I am very excited about. I am also doing a First Year Experience Mentor program that allows me to really get to know the incoming freshman and get to talk to them about college and their faith and other things.

It has been an exciting year. And I have loved every minute of it! God has truly blessed me beyond measure and more than I deserve on so many things. I have a fabulous family, fantastic friends, a great job that I can't wait to start, and most importantly, He is my Savior that loves me no matter how many times I screw up and that I fall short of His expectations. And I am eternally grateful.

Well, that's about it guys! I love you all and I will try not to let it go so long again before I blog! haha. Until next time! :)