I miss it. I miss Spain. I'm just going to go ahead and admit it. I feel so distracted. And I'm hoping that by writing in my blog that I will be able to better concentrate. Anyway, Spain... was amazing. I could not have imagined what it would have been like. It was absolutely fantastic. I do not think that I could adequately describe that experience at all. I just don't think that it would do it justice. The people over there just touched my heart in a way that I don't think I was prepared for. Walking the streets, riding the train, the bus, it was all a new experience for me. I would look into the faces of these people and they just seemed like they needed hope, a reason to smile. It just broke my heart. I am most definitely a smiling person. And to smile at people and them not smile back was an interesting experience that I was not prepared for. It's one of those cultural things. But it still really got me to thinking. I just want to gather all of these people and just tell them the good news that Jesus loves them. I was overwhelmed with a heart and a passion for the Spanish people. As well as the covered women. I really wish that I could describe that feeling of the moment that I looked around and the look on the faces of the people that I saw... the best way I know to describe it was that my heart was broken. Because I was 90% sure that those people didn't know the Lord. Didn't know the joy I had in Christ. Didn't know the promise that no matter what happened, I would have the assurance of the Lord on my side. And my heart, it felt heavy. I still get teary-eyed just thinking about it. All I could think was I hope that they will get to experience the love of Christ.
And okay, I'll admit. Every time I would try to pass out a dvd and got a rejection, it would hurt my heart. Because they rejected the news that radically changed my life. They rejected the only love I know that is truly unconditional. The greatest love I will ever know or experience. I wanted and still want that for them. I want them to realize that there is a God that loves them so passionately, so fully that it will set them free. It will not be bound by rules and regulations. It will not be bound by cultural boundaries. It will not be bound by anything. It will know no limits. I want them to know that they have a God that cares about them enough to have His only Son come to earth to live a sinless life, only to die in their place, carrying all of their sins with Him. A God that has plans for them. Plans that He says in His Word that are for us to prosper, to give us a reason to hope and have peace (I did paraphrase a little there but you get the point). I cannot describe the sinking feeling that I had when I realized that some of them will never experience that kind of perfect love. The only one that can cast out all fear.
It was an interesting experience. Here in America and more specifically South Carolina, we are in the Bible belt. Most have heard the Gospel. Most have either accepted or rejected already. Some attend church regularly. It is definitely different to go to a country where they are spiritually in the dark for the most part. Most of Spain is dominated by catholicism. Save for the N. African immigrants that now live there & are muslim. And the younger generations that have rejected catholicism and it's legalistic practices. They have seen how corrupt the church is. And they fail to focus on the love of Christ. That personal relationship that we can have with Him if we just accept Him. I just wanted everyone to accept Him and it be done. But God is so gracious in that He gives us a choice to accept or reject Him. And I had to realize that nothing that I could possibly do could make them accept Him. I can obey the call to go and plant the seed. But at the end of the day, that's what He has called me to do. And that's what I would and did do. And even though we did not see any professions of faith, I definitely could feel the hand of the Lord in everything we did that week. Every dvd that we handed out, every invitation, every soccer game, every child, adult, teen that we interacted with was all for His glory. And He will do with it what He wants. We just have to be willing to go. We have to be willing to answer when He is calling. It is our responsibility to use the gifts and talents that He has given us. That was definitely encouraging. All we have to do is what He says and He takes care of the rest.
I believe that it is Paul that writes something to the effect of "I do not boast in myself but my boast is in the Lord." He is a most holy and gracious God. And it is only by His grace, not of myself but through Him that I am able to live with hope. He is the reason that I was able to make it to Spain. It was through Him that I was not worried about how the money would come, I was not held down by uncertainty. It is through Him that I was able to boldly proclaim His love. It is through Him that we were able to hand out all of those dvd's and invitations after rejections came our way. I most definitely believe that God put our team together and chose us all individually to go to Spain. I believe with all of my heart that not a better team could have been chosen because we all answered His calling. It is because of Him that I am able to tell you all about my journey and the opportunity that I was blessed with to go to Spain.
I will always remember this trip. And I hope that one day I will be blessed with the opportunity to return. Only time will tell what the Lord has in store for me. And I cannot wait to see what that is. I also want to challenge you. If you feel a calling to go whether it be to a foreign country where you don't know the language, or whether it is answering the call to share Christ with a coworker, to do it. I know that it is hard. And I know that I get scared sometimes, I'm not perfect. But strength comes from Him. He will give you the words to say. They aren't rejecting you. As hard as it is, we always have that assurance that He is with us. That's always a great comfort. Let's be difference makers in a world that desperately needs His love, His grace, and His hope.
Also, if you want to know other random facts about Spain, I shall post another blog about random things that we encountered in Spain if so desired. I love you guys! :)
